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It Looks Better on You
by S.E. Reed
Second Place
Jayce taps on my shoulder and passes me a note during bio chem. Like what are we? Twelve? I mean, come on, we’re graduating high school in a few weeks. The paper is fresh but the creases are worn like it's been opened and closed at least a hundred times today. I turn around and stare at him puzzled. He whispers, “It’s not from me.” But he has a smirk on his face, so I know he’s read whatever is in the note and thinks it’s funny. Against my better judgment, I open the folded paper, expecting to see a picture of a balls or something gross.
It’s something gross alright, but not like that. Then my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s a text from my best friend, Lara. Perfect timing.
Kendall, is the note true? Her words sting.
NO! I text back.
I shove my phone back in my pocket. My mouth feels dry like I swallowed a glass full of sand. I'm so mad. I look at the blue ink block letter words again.
Kendall Luca is pregnant! What a SLUT!
“I, uh, bathroom?” I stand up and walk towards the door, unable to form a real sentence.
“Is the baby pushing on your bladder?” Morgan laughs. Then everyone else in class starts laughing.
My face burns and my ears flood with white noise.
I’m vaguely aware of Ms. Weston yelling, “Be quiet!” as I rush into the hallway and lean up against the wall, my chest heaving. Who would spread such a nasty lie about me? My heart is beating out of my chest and I think I might get sick. I run to the bathroom door, praying it will be empty. But, Taylor Ost is standing at the mirror reapplying her orange lipstick.
“Hey slut,” she says and pouts her lips before smiling. “Don’t worry about that note. By tomorrow it will be old news.” She’s so nonchalant about it.
“You know about the note?” I croak.
“Yeah, I saw it last period. Mandy was flashing it to everyone in gym class. She said she got it from Justin, who got it from… well you know, everyone’s seen it.” She slings her backpack over her shoulder.
Great, so everyone in school has seen the note.
I put my face in my hands.
“Ooooh, I have an idea. Let’s ditch this dump and go suntanning at the lake. I have my brother’s car.” She jingles a set of keys.
I look up at her. We aren’t exactly friends– but I’ve known Taylor for forever. We all have– known each other forever, cause in a small town like Belle Glade that’s just how it goes.
“I dunno.” I shrug. I’m not really the ditching school kind of girl. But the thought of going back to class makes a knot so big in my gut I almost double over. Pregnant. Someone told everyone I’m pregnant. And I am the opposite of pregnant.
I am empty–hollow.
Taylor gives me a wink. “Awe come on, don’t be chicken shit, I’ve even got an extra swimsuit in my other bag. We’ve only got three weeks left in this hell-hole before graduation, so what’s the harm.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I straighten up. “Suntanning at the lake sounds kind of perfect.” So I follow Taylor out of the bathroom and we walk right out the front door of the school. No one stops us, and for a few seconds it makes me feel in control to just walk away, leaving all my things behind.
Taylor puts on her heart shaped sunglasses, turns up the music, and rolls down the windows while we drive. Her left arm hangs out and she taps the car and sings along. The humid air is sweet and sticky. I want to join her, but I feel pathetic.
“So, is it true?” She finally asks, and looks over at me.
“No. I’m not pregnant.” I can’t bear to actually say it. But even with her sunglasses on, I can see her unbelieving gaze. “I’m still a–you know–”
“Oh shit. Kendall! You’re still a virgin.” She laughs as she pulls her brother’s car into the parking lot at the lake and finds the only empty spot. The state park is packed this time of year. Vacationers from all over the state come to camp and boat on the lake. It’s the only reason anyone from outside the swamps comes this way at all.
“Is it so bad? You know, to still be a virgin?” I ask when we get out of the car.
She pops the trunk and pulls out a couple towels and a blue bikini, shoving them into my arms to hold. Then she takes her shirt off, exposing the white triangle top she’s already wearing before she slides off her frayed jean shorts.
“Nah, but, guys hate being told no,” she says with a shrug and looks me up and down. “If you told someone no recently, they probably started the rumor.” She closes the trunk and takes the towels from my arms. “Go change in the bathroom and meet me at the dock. I’ll lay out the towels.” She struts off in her white bikini and flip flops, her blonde ponytail bouncing, like she does this every day.
Dang, how does Taylor seem to know so much? I mean, I wasn’t ready to go all the way with Ryan. Did he really write that note and pass it around school? But that was like six months ago! There’s no way he’s still bitter about it, I just saw him last week and he wasn’t exactly nice to me, but he wasn’t an asshole either.
I can’t stop thinking about the note while I change my clothes in the bathroom. Taylor’s swimsuit fits me okay, not as good as it probably fits her perfect body. I look at my reflection in the crappy bathroom mirror, it’s a little tight on me, the softness at my sides gives me a round shape. But, right now I don’t care.
I just want to lay on the dock and block out the noise in my head.
Kendall Luca is pregnant! What a slut!
“Shut up!” I say to my reflection. My stomach twinges.
I carry my clothes in my arms and walk down to the dock where Taylor is sprawled out on the hot pink towel. “Come on, lay down,” she says and pats the towel next to her.
“I don’t think it was the last guy I said no to… Ryan and I broke up during winter break and–”
“Huh? You and Ryan Vik. I didn’t know you two dated.” Taylor rolls over on her flat, toned stomach and looks at me, waiting for more information.
“It was only a few dates,” I blush. I’m not even sure he really considered me his girlfriend.
“You know, you and Ryan would be kind of cute together. But he’s a crappy lay. Be glad you told him no,” she says with a smile.
“You and Ryan?” I ask. I didn’t know they hooked up.
“Yeah, freshman year. Remember that big bonfire, the one when Kadie’s windshield got busted out,” she says.
“I remember.” I nod. I wasn’t there, but it was all anyone could talk about around town for weeks.
“It was just a one time thing. No biggie.” She flips her ponytail off her shoulder. “And yeah, he’s not the kind of guy to go making stuff up. So if it wasn’t Ryan, then who else did you piss off?” She pulls her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose and smooshes her orange lips together– half a kiss face, half a smirk.
Sigh. I wish I had half her confidence.
But wait, what did she just accuse me of? Pissing someone off?
“I haven’t done anything!” I exclaim. She narrows her gaze, like she doesn’t believe me. And I’m about to tell her she can go to hell, I don’t owe her an explanation, but my phone is buzzing in my pile of clothes, not once, or twice. So I roll over and grab it to check. Taylor takes her phone and starts looking at TikTok and laughing, her way of giving me some privacy. There are five missed calls from Lara and a bunch of texts, one right after another.
Where are you?
Why aren’t you answering me?
Everyone thinks it's true…
Are you lying?
Kendall??? WTF.
“God, Lara is being kind of a bitch,” I announce. And that piques Taylor’s interest. She sits up and sets her phone down like it’s on fire and whips her sunglasses off.
“Tell me,” she says and focuses every ounce of attention on what I’m going to say. So I read all the texts to her. And she doesn’t say anything for a minute; I can see the wheels in her head spinning, like she’s trying really hard to figure something out. “If I was your best friend I’d never text you like that.”
“Really?” I’m surprised that was what she chose to say.
“Yeah, really. If you were pregnant, you would have told her, right? Her texts mean she doesn’t trust you,” she says and taps her manicured nails on the dock. The water sloshes along the shore and the cicadas buzz, filling my ears. Does Lara really not trust me?
“But, I’ve never done anything to make her not trust me! I tell her everything. Well almost everything,” I say and then immediately regret it because Taylor’s eyes light up.
“What didn’t you tell her?” She asks.
I can’t tell Taylor my secret can I?
Just then a boat cruises by on the lake, kids on vacation screaming on an innertube as it bounces along and hops the wake. “Dang that looks like fun. Let’s walk over to the campgrounds and see if we can get someone to take us out on their boat.” She says and stands up. I stand up too and pick up the towel and my clothes. I think maybe she’s going to let it go, the note, me and Lara, all of it. Which would be fine by me. I don’t want to think about it anymore.
I’m not really sure what to say as I speed walk to keep up with her. “So, are you going to college next year?” I ask.
“Girl, I’m not letting you off the hook. What’d you not tell Lara?” She stops walking and turns to face me.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” I hold a hand up to shield the sun from my eyes.
“Sure you do. That’s why you said it. And in your heart you know whatever it is, that’s the reason Lara wrote that note,” Taylor says. Then she spins around and walks toward a group of guys unloading their boat into the water at the ramp.
My mouth hangs wide open. Did she really just accuse my best friend Lara of writing the note? Why would Lara tell everyone I was pregnant? And call me a slut?
But… there is that one thing… I didn’t tell her. The secret I’ve been keeping. The knot from earlier is forming again in my stomach. There’s no way Lara could have found out right? Not that it even matters! It’s not anything bad, but I just know how she is.
“Taylor, wait!” I shout. She ignores me– and instead she laughs and flirts with the boat guys and crawls in with them. She waves her fingers at me, trying to get me to join her. Now I remember why I don’t hang out with Taylor. She’s reckless. Going out with a group of guys we don’t know is such a bad idea– I look around nervously.
My house isn’t all that far from here. I can get there in twenty minutes if I walk fast. So while Taylor is busy flirting, I march as fast as I can along the edge of the road. Heat radiates off the pavement, and my legs feel like they are on fire.
“Lookin’ good, sweet ass!” Someone shouts and throws a beer bottle. I dive into the tall grass on the side of the road, to avoid being smashed by glass. Ugh, as if today wasn’t bad enough. I get up and brush myself off. Just in time for a car to honk behind me, but I’m already as far over as I can get on the side of the road.
Tears well up in my eyes when I realize the honker isn’t driving by, they are slowing down, right behind me. My heart pounds. I’m scared to even look over my shoulder. Until a familiar voice yells, “Bitch, get in the car.”
My head whips around. It’s Taylor, yelling at me through the open windows of her brother’s car. “You know those guys were gonna take us tubing. But, you gotta go and be a chicken shit again,” she laughs.
My lip quivers and I fight back the tears.
Her face softens. “Oh come on Kendall, get in. I’ll drive you home.”
I let out my breath, and my shoulders slump. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just kind of panicked,” I try and explain when I get in the car. The seat is burning and sears my exposed flesh. But, it’s better than walking home. It’s better than being run over by a drunk.
“I’m the one who accused your bestie of making up some big lie about you. What the hell do I know anyway, it was probably some freshman trying to be funny,” Taylor says and rolls her eyes.
I relax. She’s probably right. It was probably some stupid Freshman. But even so, there’s a nagging feeling about Lara. Her reaction today wasn’t how a best friend should have reacted. “I can’t wait to graduate and get the hell out of here.”
“Girl, same! Small towns are for suckers.”
We look at each other and burst out laughing. Because unless you’ve lived in a small town, your whole life, where everyone knows everything, you don’t get it. She pulls into my driveway and puts the car in park, but leaves it running.
“Today was fun Kendall. We should hang out again,” she says. Her lipstick is faded, but her smile is so bright it doesn’t matter. I wish I felt that bright and happy.
“Yeah, that would be fun.” I get out of the car and realize I’m still in her swimsuit. “You want to wait for me to change?”
“Nah, you keep that one, it looks better on you than it ever did on me. You’ve got those curves.” She winks. I blush and wave like a big dummy as she backs out of the driveway, she honks and waves back.
I open up the front door and I’m surprised to see my parents in the kitchen. “Are you alright Kendall? The school called and told us about the note,” Mama says. She doesn’t seem all that startled to see me in a random swimsuit and adds, “That color blue looks good on you.”
I look down at myself. It is kind of pretty isn’t it.
“I should have called. I went with Taylor to the lake for a while.” I set my clothes and phone down on the counter.
Dad doesn’t say anything outright. Instead he leans back in his chair and mumbles, “If that woman woulda minded her own business.”
“What woman?” I don’t know what he’s talking about.
“I didn’t want to tell you, but when we were at the clinic a few months ago– Lara’s mom was across the street at the gas station. She must have told Lara and that’s how this whole mess started.” She pushes her hair back and lets out a long sigh. “I’m so sorry Kendall, I know I told you to keep this situation private. But look at this mess.” She sniffs once, then looks at my dad, and back at me. Tears roll down her cheek.
“Mama, it’s okay, it’s not your fault,” I start to cry too. She gives me a big hug. The kind I’m gonna really miss when I’m off at college next year.
Dad clears his throat. “How ‘bout I clean up and head over to the Fry House and grab some burgers for dinner and if you’re up to it, we can watch a movie tonight.” He kicks off his work boots and heads to the bathroom. He already knows me and Mama won’t argue with burgers and a movie. Plus, he’s never been big on crying.
My phone buzzes. Mama wipes her face and walks away to go putter. I don’t really care who’s messaging me, but I check anyway, force of habit.
Are you okay? It’s Lara. That’s the first decent thing she’s said all day.
Did you write the note? I ask. Maybe Taylor was right.
Why would I write it?
Because your mom saw my mom taking me into Planned Parenthood. You should have just asked me what it was about.
You’re the one who said you’re saving yourself for marriage! Only sluts go to that place. Her words are nasty. I can’t believe her! How can this be the girl I’ve been best friends with for the last two years. How did we even get here?
For your information, I was having really bad cramps for a long time and had to have a surgery because a cyst burst in my ovary. Now I have to take medication so my hormones stay regulated. But anytime I tried to talk to you about it, you got all weird and said periods are gross and you didn’t want to hear about it!!!!
You said your appendix burst. You're such a liar. You probably had an abortion.
I don’t respond. I literally don’t care if she thinks I’m a liar. Because as of today, we are no longer friends.
“Hey Mama, can you take me to the Boca Raton mall this weekend? I want to buy some orange lipstick. Maybe I’ll ask Taylor if she wants to come with us.” For the first time in a long time I feel better… Less hollow.
Winning pieces are published as received.
Fiction Potluck
April 2024
Second Place Winner:
S.E. Reed
S.E. Reed lives in the south and writes strange, haunting, real stories of people and places along old highways. Winner of the 2024 Florida Book Awards and the 2024 Paterson Prize for Books for Young People. Additionally, she's been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and won honorable mention twice in L. Ron Hubbard's Writers of the Future Contest. You can follow her on X @writingwithreed or www.writingwithreed.com.